Talking & Listening

Today was hard, it was the first time people at church looked at me and didn't know what to say. I don't even remember what we used to talk about before all this happened. As much as I don't want it to define my life and who I am, it seems inevitable. I am beginning to understand how people can pull away, and feel weird with people they have known and loved for years...I always wondered how people could feel like they wanted to leave a church in a crisis, with all these people rallying around them. But I get it now, having seen both sides of the coin. I wish someone had come up and told me, "People aren't going to know what to say. If they had the right words, they would say them and try to make things better. No one loves you any less, this is just a hard time." I don't mind answering all the questions a thousand times, and I'm happy to say, I can't talk about it right now if I can't. I wish people felt more comfortable asking!! I've always wanted to dye my hair candy apple red, maybe I will now, just so we have something to talk about!

On the flip side, Amy got up this morning and read the blog and had news of some other children and decided the women at church needed to pray. She called and talked to lots of women and we prayed...some at home, some at church. This is an odd set of circumstances: first Allyson was diagnosed and sent to the children's hospital, then Aspen, then Sarah (all from our church!) and then Micah. All these children from one church with different life threatening illnesses within two months time. We have to sit up and take note and ask, "What's the message God?". I hope we spent enough time listening!!