Really Good or Really Bad

We knew today would either be really good or really bad...but we really never expected both. I guess I should have, it seems to be how life is dealt out at my house. There is rarely this nice, mellow in between time. Something is always happening and it's always really good or really bad.

So first I'll tell you the really good...Aspen got to ride the tram up the hill and down. Just once, but it was a pretty good ride! The surgeon is awesome!! He is honest, very personable, very patient, and very persistent. He was talking to Aspen and high-fiving with her, just what we prayed for in a guy who could have been really stuffy (this is the personable part). The hospital staff was amazing! From reception, to nurses, to people we asked directions from in elevators; everyone was nice, helpful and even went out of their way to make us comfortable. The building is amazing! There is fun stuff around every corner for kids, we were pretty busy so we didn't get to check it all out, but the stuff we did see/do was great. Ken's family is amazing! They endured hours and hours and hours of sitting in waiting rooms and acted like it's just what they expected to do...even with the 3 little cousins, who were cute and precious as always and incredibly patient!!

So here's the really bad part, we are at square one all over again!! The surgeon said it's not a pseudo cyst, it's a different kind of growth on her pancreas and he wasn't going to guess what it might be from a month old CT scan (the honest part). So he sent us to the lab to get blood drawn and for an MRI today...which as you can imagine was far less thrilling than the science museum or the zoo for the 5 kiddos. He also told us endoscopic surgery is not an option, it will be the real deal. We can't schedule until we know exactly what it is, so we wait a bit more. We also found out Ken's dad's cousin died of pancreatic cancer in her 30's...the surgeon wants her charts (from 30 years ago!) because he says he has to figure out why Aspen has this (the persistent part). I'm relieved some doctor is finally as gung-ho about this as I am!

The lab was good, but it took 5 tries to get the IV started for the MRI. We were at the point where I had to ask her if she wanted to quit and go home after try number two. She said no, she wanted to stay and get it over with, so stay we did and after an hour of squeezing, poking, and prodding they finally got it. And then she had to lay perfectly still for 45 minutes after being contained in a hospital for 5 hours already...that didn't really go so well. So she had to lay still for one and a half hours instead because they re-took a bunch of the scans due to wiggling. She thought it was too bad such nice people have such bad jobs. We should have results on Monday or Tuesday and if we don't, or if we're just worried on Monday we're supposed to just give nurse Nancy a call...they are so ridiculously nice!

Well, by now we are emotionally and physically exhausted and on the way home we stop by the church to pick up a prayer shawl that Sue knitted for Aspen. It is beautiful, and SO Aspen in bright, girly colors with a ruffled edge! Ken read the card out loud, Aspen snuggled up in it, and I was driving and trying to not cry so I could see the road. We got home and Ken is trying to leave to go work for 12 hours, after 7 hours at the hospital, and I am crying. I'm kind of a mess...I'm at the point where I want to just hold Aspen close and treat her like she's made of glass so she won't break, it's hard to let go. I think I need sleep..."Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:15